


Earth Is Where the Heart Is

by Bemused_Writer



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Gen or Pre-Slash, Other, Raphael!Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 09:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19665046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bemused_Writer/pseuds/Bemused_Writer
Summary: Before Crowley was on Earth he had another name, another role. He created nebulas, knew all the angels, and befriended one in particular. Falling had been quite unforeseen until it was right there before him.





	Earth Is Where the Heart Is

Before him was a vast emptiness, a swirling void, dark and potent with the possibility of _creation,_ a blank canvas for him to brush life into. Blank canvases hadn’t been invented yet but he had it on good authority they would be and he figured this was the greatest canvas of them all.

He raised an arm and light flickered into existence at the end of his index finger, dancing with excitement. He thought about what he wanted to create—he wanted it to be beautiful, he knew that much and he wanted it to stand out. There were going to be lots of these … what were they called again? Nebulas. There would be lots and while they wouldn’t be populated like galaxies they would have their own unique shine for space travelers. Oh, he couldn’t wait for space travelers; it would be brilliant.

Speaking of, he was quite excited at the prospect of humans and other life forms. He wished he’d been assigned to guard them but that was the work of the Principalities and he was an Archangel. Bother. The Principalities didn’t even exist yet, which was somewhat understandable as there wasn’t anything for them to have dominion over what with the universe being little more than broth waiting for ingredients but even if his creations would only be seen at a distance for centuries upon centuries he wanted the humans to have something to marvel at.

Also, space travel.

He arced his arms, swept them from side-to-side, and slowly the light spread out before him taking on new colors and shapes. He grinned in delight; he could hear the soft murmur of song as he warped reality about until he had the exact shape he desired. It was rather stunning in his opinion with shining reds and glittering blues.

He crossed his arms and took it in. It would need a little further work, a bit of manipulation to get it just right but he had all the time in the universe. Well, sort of.

Deadlines were a pain and they only had so many days to work. This all had to be done _before_ the humans were placed in the garden-that-wasn’t. Sure, he could still make things afterwards but the bulk of it needed to be finished beforehand.

“What’s the point of a deadline for this anyway?” he muttered to himself. It was such a big project; surely they should have as much time as they wished.

“Is something bothering you, Raphael?”

It was a sonorous voice, rich and elegant. He turned to face him though he hardly needed to; they’d conversed many times in the past.

He was named Lucifer and he was as stunning to behold as ever with features that shone with intelligence and curiosity and wings that spanned much further than his own. He always felt a bit shabby around Lucifer, which was probably why he was always just a touch too casual in an effort to hide it. He realized it was a foolish endeavor. They were of the same rank and they were both of the Heavenly Host. Neither of them was better than the other.

“Oh, Lucifer. How goes it?” Raphael winced. It was an absurd question but what was he supposed to ask?

Lucifer ignored the question in favor of analyzing Raphael’s work. Nothing new then; Lucifer was always analyzing things, considering new ideas. It was part of why Raphael liked him so much even if he did feel inferior.

“This is quite beautiful, darling.”

“Thanks,” Raphael said somewhat uncertainly. They were quiet for a moment as they took in the nebula. Raphael circled a finger to adjust its pattern slightly, mostly out of agitation.

“You didn’t answer the question,” Lucifer said finally.

“Er, right. I’m all right, I suppose. We’re angels; how could we feel discontent?”

“Quite right,” Lucifer said entirely too shrewdly. “You know, I heard an interesting tidbit I thought you might like. I know how intrigued you are by the concept of humans and the Earth and such. At any rate, I heard the Lord is making the third sphere as we speak. Principalities are about to be born.”

“Already?” Raphael said in surprise. He paused in his work reluctantly. “But the garden isn’t finished.” And he hadn’t even been summoned. He was a touch vexed by that; he thought such an event would be reason enough to bring the entire Heavenly Host together.

“No, but the Lord seemed to think they would need the task explained to them in advance. They won’t even be given names right away if you can believe it.”

“She won’t name them?”

“No. Strange, don’t you think?”

“It’s not my place to question Her wisdom,” Raphael said uncomfortably even as he did exactly that in the privacy of his own mind.

Lucifer gave him a magnanimous smile and draped an arm about him. Strangely, Raphael felt a little better. He supposed that was the effect Lucifer had on people or maybe it was simply that he radiated innate warmth. Raphael had always been a little cold-blooded.

“What have you created, exactly?” he murmured in his ear. “I meant it when I said it was beautiful.”

Raphael smiled as he eyed his creation and said, “It’s what’s going to be called a ‘nebula.’ It’s like … space dust, I suppose. I don’t know but it’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“Very much so. You’re a skilled artist.”

“Thank you,” Raphael said with more sincerity this time. Lucifer was kind of odd but it was nice to have his artistic endeavors appreciated for a change. He wasn’t sure God had ever said anything about his work ever. Did She even like it? Did She even notice how hard he worked?

And now he was missing the birth of new angels to boot. Was it so hard to send out a memo for this kind of thing?

“So, these Principalities,” Raphael began. “Will they have dominion over the Earth?”

“Hmm, not sure. They will rule over organizations and such. You should meet them. You know,” he said slowly, carefully, “you should be given more to work with.”

“How do you mean?”

“Like I said, I know how curious you are about the humans. Shouldn’t you get to experience their creation?”

“I will a bit. I’ll influence the healing arts.”

Raphael had mixed feelings on this matter. His job seemed somewhat pointless considering God could simply not create disease in the first place but once again he knew it was wrong to voice such a thing. Lucifer would have understood him, he was sure of that, but he wasn’t quite ready to say he thought his assigned role was absurd.

“Indeed. I’ll leave you to it for now. You should come chat with me and some of my friends later, darling. I know there’s more on your mind than you’re letting on.”

Raphael nodded absentmindedly. He frequently attended those meetings anyway but right now he wanted to meet the Principalities. He hoped they were interesting. Some of the other angels were a little stuffy for his liking.

-x-

Upon returning to headquarters (a glaringly bright building that somehow managed to outshine the angels themselves who were literal beings of light) he quickly discovered several of the Principalities were phenomenally stiff. He supposed they were the ones who would be keeping an eye on kingdoms and the like, which would require a firm hand. He disliked them immediately; they were as distant as God could be. On the flipside, a few of them were so lackadaisical he couldn’t help but wonder what on earth they could possibly be charged with. Surely they would simply turn a blind eye as soon as they could and waltz off somewhere else.

He was about to give up on the whole endeavor when he saw one Principality standing off to the side looking utterly perplexed at the sheer number of the Heavenly Host crowding about him. Ah, he could understand that at least; he’d never been fond of crowds either. Raphael glided over and stuck out his hand. The Principality looked at it somewhat apprehensively.

“Eventually, in certain cultures, it will be a custom to shake it,” Raphael explained. “I’ve been testing out different greetings to see which I like best.” So far he had tried hugs (on Gabriel; that one was a bust), kisses (with Lucifer; it had been okay but he wasn’t eager for a repeat), and bowing, which no one had seemed to mind terribly but Raphael decided he wanted something a little more tactile than that.

“I see,” he said slowly and hesitantly grabbed it. Raphael gave him a firm shake before letting go. His essence felt … contradictory. Raphael considered it for a moment. He felt like parchment and greenery and something comfortingly warm with a dash of fresh ideas and suddenly Raphael was struck with an intense longing to know what those things _were._ He wanted to experience _life._

The Principality was giving him a strange look and he realized he must be staring. “My name is Raphael,” he said, finally remembering his manners. “I suppose you haven’t got one yet though.”

“Not as such,” he said breezily. “But I do have a role: Guardian of the Eastern Gate. It sounds rather important, doesn’t it?”

“Sure does.” He didn’t bother pointing out that all of their jobs were important.

“I wonder if I’m up to the task. I’ve never seen a human before.”

“None of us have,” he said in amusement. “You’re lucky you’ll get to.”

“I don’t feel particularly lucky,” the Principality said in consternation. He was wringing his hands slightly, and he was staring at the floor as if there were something terribly interesting there.

“You don’t want to see the Earth?” Raphael said in surprise. “But it’s going to be so…” he struggled for the right words. “Beautiful!”

“Maybe you’re right,” he sighed. “I’ve only just been created so it all seems a bit much.”

“Yeah, I felt that way at first, too.”

They stood there awkwardly for a moment before the Principality blurted out, “You felt rather scaly.”

Raphael blinked and tried to decipher what that was supposed to mean. All he managed was a, “Huh?”

The Principality’s aura flickered in embarrassment. “I don’t know what scales are to be honest but you felt like them,” he said almost accusatorily. “I think it’s going to be something on Earth. You also felt … kind. I suppose.” He glanced about as if that would remove some of the focus on him.

“Thank you?” Angels didn’t, generally speaking, discuss this kind of information to one another—something about it revealing truths they needed to learn for themselves—but the Principality was probably too new to know that.

The Principality merely nodded before he said, sounding ever-so-slightly inconsolable, “I hope I get a name soon.”

“Yeah, well,” Raphael was having a hard time not laughing. This angel was a strange one. “Would you like to see a nebula?”

“I don’t see why not,” he sighed. “I’m afraid my manners have been terrible. Your hand was awfully cold though; you should do something about that.”

“Guess you’ll just have to stick close,” Raphael said in bemusement. No one else had ever commented on his temperature before. No one had commented on him at all actually. Lucifer had only ever said anything about his work.

The Principality acquiesced much to his surprise, wrapping his arm about his own, and they left the glaringly bright headquarters for the quiet allure of space once more. The Principality’s eyes widened in awe.

“It’s a wonder, isn’t it?” Raphael said warmly. “I love it out here. It’s much better than all those bland walls.”

“Raphael, this is beautiful. Did you make that?” He gestured at the nebula in question.

“Still working on it but yeah.”

“Will I get to create such things?” he said softly.

“You’re a Principality,” Raphael said carefully. “Creation is the duty of Archangels and above.”

“Oh.” He wilted slightly and Raphael wondered, not for the first time, why their roles were so rigidly set.

“You’re an Archangel?” he said hesitantly. “Capital ‘A’ and everything?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah.”

“Whatever are you doing around me then?” he said in bafflement. “You’re much higher up the ladder—you helped create the universe! I know I’ve only existed mere moments but it was made quite clear to me there was a-a division of sorts. We are not in the same sphere at all!”

Raphael had no doubt that had been made _very_ clear to the Principality. He’d found most angels were obsessed with their role, their status. He supposed this Principality had been bombarded with the sentiment almost immediately; he wasn’t terribly high up as such things went.

“Never much cared for that,” Raphael said blandly in response. “I like to know people. You’re a person. Therefore, we’re here. Hanging out,” he said enunciating the final ‘T’ with gusto.

“What will your role be then? Tour guide?” he said with a roll of his eyes.

“Ha! Thanks but no thanks,” Raphael laughed. Apparently this Principality wasn’t afraid to show a bit of personality when he was given the okay. “Angels are all right but I want to see the Earth.”

“You won’t get to?” His arm clenched a little tighter about his own. Raphael wasn’t sure but he thought he sounded apologetic.

“Not sure. Not really my role--that one’s on you.”

“So I won’t get to see you much once my duties take me elsewhere.”

“Guess not.”

“That’s… rather a shame,” he said with a quick, searching glance.

Raphael cleared his throat. “Yeah. Suppose so.”

They didn’t say much after that. Raphael instead demonstrated how he’d created a nebula and the Principality gave him a few ideas on which colors might look especially nice. All in all it was probably the best time Raphael ever had in Heaven. It was unfortunate it would come to an end so soon after.

-x-

“Oh, there you are Raphael,” Lucifer drawled. “Finally done spending time with the Principality?”

His posse of angels let out low chuckles of delight.

“Yeah, yeah, make fun all you want,” Raphael said irritably. “I’m here, aren’t I? Not even late.”

Raphael enjoyed the more laidback nature of this particular grouping of angels even if they were a little … pretentious on occasion. It was preferable to the stuffiness of most other angels at least. Marginally.

They took turns sharing newfound emotions (angels were fascinated by emotions--they were all new and, supposedly, humans would be full of them) and some complaints they had with upper management. Unsurprisingly, there was a lot of dissatisfaction all around.

“I feel certain I could do a better job,” Lucifer mused. “I mean, the food’s been just terrible lately.” There was a murmur of agreement. Raphael let out a grunt of approval. Angels didn’t eat as such but they did need sustenance and it had been lackluster at best of late.

“Anything new with you, Raphael?” One of the other angels asked.

“I felt something,” he admitted, "with the Principality.”

“Oh?” Lucifer looked intrigued.

Raphael thought of how best to explain what it had been. He'd felt longing, a feeling that was terribly familiar to him. It wasn’t just for the humans--though Lucifer was perfectly correct in his curiosity regarding them--but he felt it for this angel even though they’d only just met. But there had been something else, something like longing only darker. _Envy,_ he realized as the word came to him unbidden. That was new. 

Stronger than anything else he knew he _liked_ that Principality, possibly more than he liked Lucifer and the gang.

He hesitated in telling them as such. No, they didn’t need to know what he thought of the Principality, surely. They were friends (sort of) but he was under no oath to tell them anything.

What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them and it wouldn’t hurt Raphael either, which seemed significantly more pertinent.

“He just reminded me of how much I want to see the humans,” he said finally. “I don’t see why we can only do one thing when we could do so much more. Why don’t we get a say in what we do? In who we are?”

“You’re still going on about that?” a particularly pasty-looking angel groaned. Raphael frowned at him; he could never remember his name but he did remember his first impression: he was a buffoon.

“And why shouldn’t he?” Lucifer said smoothly. “It’s unfair for God to place these restrictions upon us. We are angels; we have power beyond the wildest dreams of these humans. I know you're fond of them, Raphael,” he said apologetically, “but there’s the simple matter of us being superior. That’s all.”

“I just think it would be wonderful to be at their side,” Raphael murmured feeling strangely empty despite the company. “It would be a grand adventure and they would learn so much.”

“You envy that angel,” Lucifer said. There was a gleam in his eye Raphael didn’t much care for. He shrugged nonchalantly.

“You could take it up with Her,” he suggested. Raphael stared at him. “Oh, don’t look like that. If you’re so upset, why not talk to God?”

Everyone looked at each other uneasily.

“Perhaps I will,” Raphael said quietly.

“Good. Better than bemoaning your lot, wouldn’t you say?”

 _That’s the whole point of this group,_ Raphael thought in irritation. _It’s all any of you ever do._

He excused himself. Apparently, he had a call to make.

-x-

Now that Raphael had made up his mind he found he was terribly nervous. He’d never spoken to God on his own before. He’d only ever sung the psalms in unison with the rest. To speak with Her on his own… Would She even listen? He may have been an Archangel but he was nothing compared to her. Sure, he didn’t have to go through the Metatron as an Archangel but that almost would have been preferable. At least then he’d have a visual.

Still, he had made up his mind. He wanted this desperately and maybe that was a sin but he had to try.

God was everywhere, so he figured he would choose a place comfortable for himself for this particular conversation. He opted for space, his favorite arena save for that little planet that had yet to be finished.

Carefully, he prostrated himself. In the distance a star went supernova. It was utterly silent—everything in space was—but the colors… They were beautiful.

But it was also dead. He hoped that wasn’t a sign.

“Lord, it is your humble servant, Raphael.” The words felt stiff and awkward. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to speak with Her outside of music and this wasn’t the kind of thing he could put a song to. “I have a request,” he continued nervously. He was struck with the absurdity of the situation. Surely She already knew what he wanted. Wasn’t speaking it a little redundant?

“Speak, Archangel Raphael. What is it you wish?” Her voice was booming, unknowable, and Raphael felt smaller than ever. He couldn’t see Her but he could feel Her all around him. It was overwhelming and while most angels claimed they enjoyed that connection Raphael found it intrusive. Loud.

He determinedly kept his face down inasmuch one could face downwards in space, tried to focus. “I had a bit of a request regarding my … position, I suppose. I wish to be with the humans,” he said.

For a moment there was silence and God said nothing at all. He could sense something like curiosity emanating from Her. He’d said something surprising.

“You are an angel of healing, Raphael. You will interact with them when needed.”

“Yes, but… It’s not the same. I … the Principality. He will live among them.”

“That is correct.”

He couldn’t tell what tone She was using now, so he hastily said, “Could I, perhaps, do something more like that? I don’t mind healing them although I don’t know why they would ever be ill…” he trailed off. That was a matter that still bothered him rather a lot. He’d spoken of it with Lucifer once before, hoping for understanding and compassion. Lucifer had agreed it all seemed quite unfair and why should God decide how Raphael was to use his powers?

That hadn’t really been the point but Lucifer tended to get sidetracked. Regardless, if these humans were supposed to live in a sheltered garden, how would they ever get sick?

 _Focus, Raphael,_ he scolded himself. One thing at a time.

“Your time will come,” She said neutrally. “But you are an angel, Raphael. You do not have freedom in the way my new creations will. Your role is fixed. You find this answer unsatisfactory.”

She was right but She was also so wrong and how could an all-knowing being be both? “No, I… Not unsatisfactory just… Can’t I be more?” He tried to convince himself he wasn’t whining but his shoulders were starting to cramp, metaphysically speaking.

“I am sorry, Raphael. Perhaps you do not realize that you _are_ more. You are a child created of fire; you are a part of the Heavenly Host. My children of clay will admire you and pray for your guidance by way of herb and root. Is this not enough?”

 _But I won’t be with them in the way the Principality will,_ he thought dismally. _I won’t live among them. I won’t get to see him again either…._

He found that thought bothered him more than he’d anticipated.

Outwardly he said, “It is, Lord. Thank you.”

There was a distant rumble and She was gone. Well, not gone but focused elsewhere. _Probably putting that garden together,_ he thought bitterly before finally rising from his prostration. He was … something. It was a hot emotion and he didn’t think he liked it all that much.

“No luck?”

It was Lucifer. Raphael found he wasn’t much in the mood to speak with him. He was trying to have a private moment here between him and the cosmos and Lucifer was butting in.

He just wanted to sulk awhile, maybe work on another nebula. Those were nice, gaseous bursts of color in the heavens that didn’t require anyone’s approval.

“Your glowering silence says no,” Lucifer stated not unsympathetically. “She didn’t understand, did She? Just said something vaguely reassuring that didn’t touch at the heart of the matter at all. Am I right?”

“I suppose so,” Raphael said tiredly, wishing desperately he would just go away. “I don’t understand. Why can’t we change?”

Lucifer frowned briefly. It was barely a mar on the perfection of his face. “We can. I’ve seen it. Just look at me.”

So Raphael did, really Looked at him for once and saw that Lucifer _was_ different. He shone brighter than he remembered for one. Hesitantly, Raphael reached out and touched him lightly on his shoulder and he saw … he saw the _universe._ Saw all the questions, the doubt, the pride, and for a split second he seemed almost … ineffable.

Raphael let go as if he’d been burned and stared, gaping, at his own hand. “W-what…?”

Lucifer let out a hearty laugh that struck him to his core. It stroked the desires of his soul like a lute. He’d never felt that around God before and it felt _good._

“You see? I’ve improved myself. There’s no reason you shouldn’t have what you want. Look, we’re planning something. Something big. It’s time things changed around here; you should get to be around those strange creatures if that’s what you really wish. What do you say?”

“I-I… Maybe you’re right,” he said dazedly. “When’s the meeting?”

“Same as usual. Just show up as you normally would, darling. It will be taken care of then.”

“Right, right, regular meeting. Just, uh, right then.”

He wandered off, still staring at his hand. It tingled uncomfortably and he could feel Lucifer’s eyes on him as he left. He continued on for some time. He wasn’t sure how long exactly but at some point he found he’d reached a distant galaxy. Not the Milky Way as it would be known eventually, but Alpha Centauri. He stared at its twin suns and tried to still the uncomfortable, nagging sensation he’d seen something forbidden.

“Raphael! There you are; I’ve been looking all over. You’re surprisingly difficult to find, my dear fellow. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you wound up back amongst the stars.”

It was the Principality. The Guardian of the Eastern Gate. He was as radiant as ever, Raphael supposed, but he was rather distracted by his own thoughts at the moment.

“Yes,” he replied distantly. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

That wasn’t entirely true now though. Lucifer had been rather incredible for the split second he’d touched him.

“Have you visited any of the planets, yet?” the Principality continued, settling in next to him.

“They’re not ready,” he mumbled. “I mean, the Earth isn’t even finished.” _You’d be down there in the garden if it was,_ he thought. He felt a stab of … not envy this time, thankfully, but something like sadness. He liked this odd little angel who spoke to him one-on-one despite the gap in their ranks.

“Oh, I wanted to tell you. I chose a name.”

That finally pulled Raphael out of his reverie although it left him speechless once more.

“I’m sorry, did you say you _chose_ a name?”

“Well, yes,” the Principality said uncertainly. “Did I do something wrong? It’s just, the Lord was taking so long and I wanted you to have something to call me by. I put a lot of thought into it.”

“I … don’t know if you did something wrong,” Raphael replied feeling decidedly off kilter. Angels didn’t pick their own names. They didn’t have “free will.” So what was this about?

Maybe Lucifer was right. Maybe they could change.

“What is it then?” he said rather than voice any of his racing thoughts. There was no need to burden this angel with all his doubts.

“Aziraphale,” he said proudly.

“Aziraphael?” Raphael said with some amusement. He knew he’d made an impression but for the angel to base his name off of his own was … surprisingly flattering.

“Not exactly,” Aziraphale said awkwardly. “Although I considered that. It’s pronounced ‘A-zeer-ra-fell’ rather than ‘A-zeer-ra-fa-el.’ Er, I suppose I’m rather butchering your name, come to think of it….”

“No, I think it’s lovely,” Raphael said softly. “Although it doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the angelic host’s naming scheme.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Aziraphale admitted. “I suppose I wanted it to be a little unique. Oh!” He looked horrified. “Not that I’m… I would never, er, that is…”

“What?”

“I mean, Lucifer’s name doesn’t fit in all that well either, does it? Maybe that’s the problem.” He took a deep breath to fortify himself before finally explaining, “I’m not saying I want to leave the host, not like Lucifer. He’s really been acting oddly, hasn’t he? I haven’t known him long but even I think it’s a bit much.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to leave,” Raphael said in bewilderment. “Wait, what’s this about breaking away from the host?”

“You hadn’t heard?” he said in surprise. “It’s a big to-do. Lucifer is gathering dissatisfied angels to challenge God.”

“That can’t be right,” Raphael said uncertainly. “That would be preposterous.”

“I’m quite certain,” Aziraphale said huffily. Raphael rather liked it when he got like that.

Unfortunately, he suddenly had a great deal more to worry about than whether Aziraphale was charming or not. Raphael thought back to when he touched Lucifer. It had been exactly what he’d thought touching God might be like only darker and there was so much more despair there than he’d ever anticipate.

Suddenly, it seemed all too likely that was exactly what he meant to do.

“Raphael? Whatever is the matter? Your aura has gotten so dark.”

_And why shouldn’t Lucifer rebel? I don’t even like it here all that much. The rules, the doubt…_

“I just want to know why...”

“We’re in agreement there,” Aziraphale sighed. “I don’t know what he’s thinking. Oh, buck up my good man,” he said at Raphael’s bleak countenance. He patted his shoulder gently. “It will all be over soon, I’m sure. It’s just a bit of nonsense.”

Aziraphale was quite mistaken on that count but the gesture was appreciated.

-x-

When Raphael finally found Lucifer he was with his usual gang but this time they weren’t just lounging about the celestial city. They were facing down another rather large section of the Heavenly Host and Raphael realized, dizzily, that this was a confrontation.

This was a _war._

Angels were darting at angels, their heavenly weapons clanging in the din, the light emanating off of them twisting as the battle went on. He saw War herself, just created but he knew who she was, standing amidst the battle, her eyes alight with joy.

Thank Go- Someone he had left Aziraphale behind, told him to mind the nebula for him (“As if a nebula needs minding! Honestly, Raphael, you’re nothing but an eccentric.") and determined to figure out what was going on for himself.

“Oh, there you are, darling,” Lucifer cried with altogether too much cheer. “You’re just in time.”

“Lucifer, this is preposterous,” Gabriel shouted. He looked unkempt for the first time in his life. Michael stood next to him looking utterly bewildered. Raphael didn’t blame her. He wasn’t sure what he’d been anticipating but actual war hadn’t been it.

He knew he was supposed to say something, probably join the fray, but he found himself at a loss for words. In his heart, he knew he didn’t want to stay, didn't want to witness this. He loved the universe, he loved creation…

But he knew for certain now: he didn’t love Heaven.

_Enough._

It was God and Raphael felt real fear for the first time in his life. He’d never felt this way before, not even when he’d touched Lucifer, not when he’d doubted, not when he’d been chastised. This was stomach twisting dread and if he’d been mortal he would have been sick.

A shriek of horror split through the air and the rebellious angels were … Falling. Lucifer’s beautiful features were twisted with rage but even he succumbed in the end. They were shrieking, their wings were burning, the smoke filled the bright arena, and they were gone. War cackled manically, her red hair stark against the blindingly pure backdrop. Raphael stared in shock.

They hadn’t even been given a chance.

“Why?” he whispered. “Why would you end it like that? You didn’t even listen to what they had to say!” he cried. "Surely you could have stopped this!"

_I saw into their hearts. It was too late, Raphael._

“Yeah, well, maybe it shouldn’t have been,” he growled. “If there was darkness in their hearts You must have allowed for it! It doesn’t make sense! It doesn’t…” He dropped to his knees and knew despair.

“It’s wrong,” he whispered. There was a pause, a considering hum. Gabriel was clutching at Michael as if her presence might ease the shock he was currently experiencing. The rest of the angels hovered uncertainly in various states of distress.

_Raphael…_

He wasn’t all that surprised to find himself plummeting downwards with the rest of them. He wondered how long it would take to adjust to the scent of sulphur and the way everything was far, far too warm even for his liking.

-x-

_You will have dominion over snakes and you will be our agent on earth. You will be called Crawly._

He felt happy at that—the assignment that is, less so about the name. The name was definitely wrong but he supposed it would do for now. He couldn’t remember what he’d been called Before. He tried not to think about it too much. His recollection of Heaven was hazy now and whenever he tried to suss out details he wound up with a blinding headache.

It was a relief to break free from the earth and discover a verdant garden. He didn’t like Hell; it was nothing but long, dark hallways and there was no air down there and the whole thing was entirely too claustrophobic. Later, when Hell was filled to the brim with damned humans, it would be much, much worse but he didn’t know that yet.

He didn’t think he missed Heaven much. Well, maybe a little. He recalled working on some nebulas that were truly divi—lovely.

He was quite certain he’d always wanted to be on Earth though and he was terribly curious about these humans.

_Get up there and make some trouble._

Well, it was infinitely more entertaining than paperwork and definitely better than when he’d had to help build Hell from the ground up. That had been a miserable couple of years.

He took a couple moments to just explore the garden, Eden it was called, and flicked his tongue out to taste the environment. He could make out flowers, soil, berries, and something like … parchment?

If he hadn’t been a demon he would have said his heart sang in that moment but because he _was_ a demon he insisted he felt entirely wicked and mischievous.

It took a couple rounds of the garden before he finally spotted Eve. She seemed like a nice enough individual, so he slithered over and pointed out how delectable those apples looked. Knowledge was power and, frankly, he was doing her a favor. Just because she didn’t know about evil didn’t mean she’d never experience it. The whole thing was ridiculous.

He made sure he was sneaky though. There was an angel meandering about the garden. He seemed familiar but Crawly figured that was a given. He’d once been a member of the heavenly host too even if the details were gone. He probably _had_ known him.

After Eve had gone on her way he took a moment to investigate the angel a little further. He really did seem awfully familiar. He was busy chatting with one of the plants, a big, flowering bush, and seemed utterly unaware of Crawly’s presence.

So far the bush wasn’t saying anything in return but it had grown about two inches during the conversation so Crawly figured it counted as a success.

After the fallout he decided to see how the angel was taking it. Crawly had been rather concerned the angel would Fall if he were honest; failing in such a holy duty couldn’t look good to upper management. He wasn’t sure why that bothered him. Maybe it was just that Hell was full enough as it was.

When he finally got a good look at his face a name struck him like a bolt of lightning.

_Aziraphale._

Well, then. He’d certainly known him. He tried to piece together what they'd been like back then. Aziraphale didn’t seem to recognize him at all and, naturally, when Crawly gave his name it meant nothing to him.

He tried to ignore the warmth that filled him at this angel being curious about his name at all.

Nothing about Aziraphale made sense. He was easily flustered, willing to speak with a demon, and was more worried about handing away his sword than failing apple-tree duty. Well, the sword bit was rather Fall-worthy if Crawly were entirely honest. He was … impressed.

He hadn’t thought there were any angels left that asked questions or tempted fate but this one seemed close to doing both. Crawly felt something close to awe and something else. Something rather close to a feeling no demon was supposed to feel. He tried to ignore how pleased he was when Aziraphale sheltered him from the storm.

Most of all he liked that Aziraphale talked to him. There wasn’t much conversation in Hell and while he’d wondered if Eve might like to chat after the temptation he was unsurprised when the answer was a resounding “no” and a potential conversation partner was promptly lost.

Crawly and Aziraphale stood quietly together, taking in the scenery. Crawly surreptitiously glanced at his odd companion, tracing his features with his eyes. They were nice, welcoming features. He supposed that made sense for an angel. What didn’t make sense was his rather nervous disposition and his disregard for the rules.

He considered Aziraphale's eyes. They were very blue, like the skies above them. Unbeknownst to Crawly he was smiling softly.

“What is it?” Aziraphale said in agitation. With a start Crawly realized Aziraphale was looking back at him with something approaching trepidation.

“Just wondering if we might have known each other,” he said somewhat truthfully. “You seem familiar.”

Around them the rain continued to fall, thudding gently upon the ground releasing a fresh scent of dirt and greenery into the air. How long did these things last anyway?

“I couldn’t say,” he said uncomfortably. “Certainly I never knew an angel named Crawly.”

“We all changed our names,” he said. “The old ones didn’t work anymore.”

Aziraphale gave a quiet tut of disapproval.

“You think we should have kept them?” Crawly said in surprise.

“They were gifts. You shouldn’t just give them away, surely.”

Crawly thought that over. “Yeah. Kind of wish I knew what mine was.”

“You don’t know?” Aziraphale said in surprise.

Crawly shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I suppose this name is a gift, too. I didn’t choose it.”

Aziraphale hesitated a moment before summoning some courage and blurting out, “You could always pick a new one.”

“Didn't you just say I shouldn’t give a gift away,” Crawly said with less bite than he’d intended.

“I suppose I might be … projecting,” he said evasively. “I had to choose my own even though I didn’t really want to. Just did it for a friend…” he trailed off. “The point is,” he said decisively as though Crawly had made an attempt to disagree, “that if it’s a gift given in good faith you should keep it. But if you don’t like it, if it isn’t _you_ well, why not find your own?”

“I suppose I am a demon,” Crawly said consideringly. “Doing what I like is part of the description.”

That was only partially true. Satan had actually laid out quite a lot of rules for someone who had rebelled against them but Crawly didn’t want to go through a second Fall if such a thing were even possible, so he’d toe the line.

“Quite right,” Aziraphale said reassuringly. He bit his lip worriedly, glancing at Crawly as if he’d swoop in and do something demonic right away now that he'd given him the idea.

Crawly wisely remained silent. This angel was terribly skittish but he hadn’t sent him away yet and he really didn’t want to face this storm on his own. Much nicer to have someone else take care of the difficult work.

“Were you an angel who looked after snakes?” he said suddenly when the silence had stretched on too long.

Crawly considered that. “Dunno,” he finally said. “Suppose it would make sense though, wouldn’t it? I mean, I feel like a snake, whatever that means. I don’t think I like the cold all that much. Got the look,” he gestured at his eyes briefly. “Did you know an angel like that?”

“No,” Aziraphale said but he was studying Crawly as though he were trying to piece something together. “What else do you do?”

“Demonic things,” Crawly said without hesitation.

“That’s not what I mean. I mean, what’s your … assignment?”

“Ah. I think I’m to be Hell’s agent on earth.”

“Do you like humans?”

“Suppose so. Why?”

“I don’t know, it’s just… I really shouldn’t let you stay, should I?”

“Just now thinking of that?” Crawly chuckled. He tried to ignore the faint sting of rejection.

Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably. “You can stay,” he said. “I suppose the Lord would have removed you by now if She wanted to and it’s awfully quiet out here, don’t you think?”

“What about the other angels?” Crawly said. “There are other gates, surely.”

Aziraphale hummed softly but didn’t answer. It told Crawly everything he needed to know. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one having difficulty with his people.

“I had a friend who liked humans,” Aziraphale said instead. He wore a sad smile. “I don’t know what happened to him. I think he Fell. Well, he must have or else he’d be here. Now. With me.”

“Another Principality?”

“No, an Archangel. I quite liked him,” Aziraphale said in a rush as if he were embarrassed to admit it. “I named myself after him. I suppose that’s silly.”

“Don’t see why it would be a problem. He was probably flattered.”

“Oh, but isn’t that the problem?” Aziraphale sighed. “Pride.”

“He wouldn’t have had to be prideful to feel flattery.” For some reason the insinuation upset him.

“Maybe.”

“Well, what was his name? Zira or something?”

“No,” Aziraphale said fondly. “It was Raphael. Oh, he was a wonder. He loved the cosmos more than any angel I’ve ever met. He loved humans, too. I think he rather envied me but he never said so, even spared me something terrible though I didn’t realize it until after the fact. Such an unusually friendly angel," he said musingly. "I miss him.”

“Sounds like a swell guy.” _How does someone like that Fall?_

“He really was. I hope he… I hope he’s happy. Wherever he ended up. I really don’t know why I’m telling you this,” he said, sounding genuinely perplexed. Before them the rain continued pounding against the gate and Raphael was forced to admit he wasn’t sure why the angel was telling him either but there was something about it that seemed important.

“I guess I just have one of those faces,” Crawly said, giving him a shrug. Well, didn’t really matter anyway. It was nice hearing the angel prattle on though.

“I suppose you must,” he said reservedly.

They stood there awhile longer until the rain finally abated. The skies swiftly brightened and the sun peeked out from behind a puffy cloud. Crawly wondered if all the rainfalls would be as beautific as this one had been. He hoped so; it was surprisingly nice despite how wet it was.

“Well, that was fun. See you around, angel.” 

“Yes, yes,” he said absently. “Till next time.”

Crawly left feeling somewhat elated. He was on Earth. He was surrounded by new, interesting things, and he might even have someone he could pester on occasion when he really got bored.

For the first time in his recollection, he felt genuinely happy and that was more he could say for Earth than he ever could have said about Heaven or Hell.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll need to edit this later but I really wanted to share some Good Omens fanfic! I've enjoyed the new TV series so much. Anyway, this fic was initially inspired by some fan art I saw on Tumblr, specifically the one [here.](https://fainttwinkling.tumblr.com/post/185845795403/may-i-offer-you-good-people-a-drawing-of-that)
> 
> I think Crowley really would have been happy creating things like that.
> 
>  **Note:** Been edited as of July 8, 2019!


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